I want to buy my daughter a cello, but my partner says it's a waste of money. How do I get them to stop penny pinching?

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• For Love & Money is a column from Business Insider answering your relationship and money questions.
• This week, a reader disagrees with their partner about buying their daughter an instrument.
• Our columnist says their partner's view is valid — but it's still worth supporting her dreams.
• Got a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.

Dear For Love & Money,

My daughter wants to play the cello. I couldn't be more thrilled. She is signed up for orchestra this fall, and they will loan her an instrument, but I would rather buy her a cello now and have her take lessons over the summer to help her really fall in love with it. She agrees and even has her eye on a beautiful white one.

My partner thinks we're being ridiculous and rushing into something that will end up being a short phase. The cello she wants is only $250, so their stubbornness feels like it's about more than just the money.

I feel like my partner is being a miser and pinching pennies because they don't believe in our girl. How can I help them see the investment this could be?

Sincerely,

Married to a Miser

Dear Married,

You can try to get at the real reason your partner is resistant to spending money, but all we can know for sure is what they are telling you — they don't think your daughter is serious enough about the instrument to justify the cost. I can see why you might interpret this as "they don't believe in our girl," but that is likely an oversimplification of an opinion I'm sure holds a lot of nuance.

When I was eight, I took piano lessons for two years and learned very little; then I watched a dueling fiddle act at Silver Dollar City and begged my parents for a violin, which my dad agreed to. I began my 18-month career as a violinist, which ended when I told my mom that the strain of holding the instrument aloft was too great for my scrawny little arm. Later, I begged my dad for a guitar, and I received a beautiful Alvarez guitar for my 16th birthday. I was over it by my 17th.

I don't share this story because I'm rolling my eyes at your daughter's aspirations or siding with your partner. I only share it because we all have similar stories from our childhood. My guess is, your partner has a story of their own. We don't just make these predictions about our kids from a place of judgment; often, we make them based on what we know about ourselves.

As insignificant as $250 may seem to you, your spouse could view it differently. Sharing finances with someone doesn't necessarily mean you share the same ideas around money. Those tend to come from many places besides the realities of your bank account.

How much money someone grows up with, their parents' attitudes around money, how much they think things are truly worth — these things all shape how we view the value of the dollar. It's not realistic or necessary to expect complete agreement on the topic, but it is important that you respect your spouse's perspective. If they feel like $250 is a lot of money to spend, believe them.

That said, maybe it isn't about the money, and your partner is judging your daughter's ability to handle the responsibility of an instrument. As parents, we have a historical record on which to base our decisions. Maybe your daughter has shown a propensity for short bursts of enthusiasm that go nowhere, or she is not careful with her possessions.

You're very excited about your daughter's interest in playing the cello and seem pretty attached to this dream yourself. When we want something, it's natural to put on blinders, to block out the voice of reason saying, "Is this going to be like the piano?" when you're imagining your kid shredding her bow to "The Devil Went Down to Georgia." But I'm glad my dad ignored that voice and my mom shaking her head in bewilderment over the guitar. Even though she was right, my dad's faith meant everything to me, and it still does.

Your daughter is as lucky to have you as I am to have my dad. Every kid deserves that kind of unearned parental confidence, but my mom also played an important role. It was never going to be music for me, but I have made my share of dreams come true, and it took both my parents, the believer and the skeptic, to empower me to both go for it and to see it through.

You asked me how you can help your partner see the potential of this investment, but I don't think you need them to join the dream for them to take a chance on your daughter. Instead, recognize their reasons for hesitancy, whatever they are, and build those potential concerns into the purchase.

Have your daughter start a savings account for it, sign a contract, earn the cello with chores, or create a care plan for her instrument. Your daughter can wait and practice with the school's cello to see how she likes it, or she can prove to your partner, you, and most importantly, herself, that she really wants this.

Rooting for you,

For Love & Money

Looking for advice on how your savings, debt, or another financial challenge is affecting your relationships? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.